e-chain of fools

"Don't even."

LOL! I just got "gently scolded" by people I don't know who work with my oldest sister. She sent me yet another one of those chain emails with really corny sentimental messages in them. You know what I'm talking about, right? They got, say, cute puppy dog pics, animated smileys with "have a nice day" wishes, or heartwarming human interest stories done in PowerPoint with very, VERY, VERY loud elevator music, and of course about a hundred cc's to other recipients. I'm sure you get these 'feel good' chain emails all the time. I delete most of them without even reading, but some I do read (against my better judgment).

I decided to be evil (oh yes, I'm capable of it) and reply not just to my sister but to all the recipients (most likely some of them forwarded it to my sister in the first place) with great sarcasm:

"AWWWWW! This is so excruciatingly corny and trite and whoever put it together with those cheap sofa painting backgrounds and deafeningly loud elevator/shopping mall music should be flogged senseless.

But the message is well taken and I agree. Thanks to all my parachute packers, I love you! May you never have to deal with unbearably corny 1970s style Hallmark greeting card type emails again."

xoxoxooxoxoxoxo

A couple of them wrote me back with an obvious tone of dismay: "Did you get up on the wrong side of bed?" "Who are you?"

Chain emails as such are the equivalent of real world chain mail to me, akin to numbingly annoying ones that clutter up my mailbox and waste good paper. This is how computer viruses and worms are spread, through attachments or links in the emails. At least you can never do that with real world letters. But as it stands, my family and some of my friends keep sending these to me, expecting me to forward it to other people.

Look, I am a good soul, I've survived life threatening crises and other moments of agony in my life, I volunteer my time and money to worthy causes, I love my mother unconditionally, I'm loyal to my friends. But that does NOT mean I do this cruddy Hallmark "perfect world" crap, there's something sickeningly saccharine about it and I will not apologize for it.

I do have my mushy moments but I hate it when emails like this try to force mushiness on me. That's just...revolting.

“I shall stay the way I am because I do not give a damn.”

Ever read Dorothy Parker much? You should. It's very grounding stuff.

ubiquitous progress

^ Walter Mossberg discussing the impact of the iPhone in particular | The full program on FORA.tv (approx. 55 min.) | iPhone friendly YouTube version of this clip

Wall Street Journal columnist Walter Mossberg discusses the future of the internet and the rise of the cell phone at the 2008 Aspen Ideas Festival, forecasting the fate of the PC and exploring the implications of the iPhone and other smart phones.

Step back. No, much further back. See the overall role that progressive technology plays in the world and in your world - in this case the internet, laptops, iPhone, and smart phones in general - and think about how it has changed your life, particularly in terms of how you search for and receive information, how it shapes and forms your lifestyle, how it has shifted the ways you connect with friends, family, and associates.

Contemplate how you calibrate yourself as an individual in an insanely fast and dynamic world of idiosyncratic notions and behaviour - YouTube, fatal road accidents caused by text messaging drivers, reading the personal blog of a young Iraqi woman struggling to survive in her war torn country, breaking up with your partner through email, even voting for a presidential candidate simply because he's far more tech savvy than his computer illiterate rival, thus directly involving yourself in shaping the world more, while in turn having it shape you more.