Memorial Park Station, Pasadena, at night. Taken with my phonecamera en route home from work.
There's much to be pondered about what I call the 'curveballs of life'. One of these has to do with how curiously people or events seem to come at a certain time and lock into place in a certain way, for you or against you, and it triggers other mechanisms (whether mental, emotional, or even spiritual) and then it throws some things into relief that may not have been in focus for you before.
According to the excellent Stoic philosopher Epictetus, whose wisdom I've been reading in spurts, it shouldn't be a matter of obsessing over the events themselves. Instead, what matters is how you respond to them. That's all we can do. In my case, I usually step back, assess, and try to see how the situation can be used to my advantage to move forward. Still, it can be difficult to control judgment, as it can often throw out of balance your decisions to act. Judgment, Epictetus would say, is useless here. Assessment and critical thought, however, are much better tools.
I will be laid off from my job at the end of this month, two weeks and three days from now. In an effort to sustain itself during these hard economic times the museum has decided not to renew our store's lease and to just shut it down, one less satellite outlet to worry about. Another kind of store will take our place. I've been laid off before so I'm used to this.
Another curveball thrown at me is that our rent will be increased quite a bit starting in July. There is no longer any choice but to move out. The price of rentals in the L.A. area is too high compared with many other cities in the U.S. (though New York and San Francisco still tops the list) and I haven't been able to find more affordable space for me and N around here. I told N I'd pay for the difference in increase until around September or October when we should move out.
N is old but is fierce about maintaining some level of independence. I agree with that, doing many things herself is a very good way to keep herself active and fit. Where we live now she can walk to her errands. If we were living in the Philippines she would have maids doing all the chores, but it would be at the expense of her becoming too sedentary and doing nothing to keep fit and when you're old that can be dangerous. All this factors into where we should choose to live. We both need each other, not least of which is for economic reasons.
It's very likely we'll move back to Chicago, where I grew up, in the fall, where rent for a very good apartment in one of the very best neighbourhoods in the city (right on the lakefront near the zoo) approaches half of what we're paying now here in L.A. I scouted through the job market in Chicago and found a few positions I'd be perfect for (the best one at a museum I love, doing what I have great experience in). N could still walk to her errands, take a cab to see her doctor, even just go for a stroll without worrying about being victimized, and have some of the her grandkids visit us on the weekend. For me I'd get to see my old friends again and rekindle relationships and feel a profound sense of grounding once more (I have that here in California and most of it is because of N).
The main reason I told N we should wait until fall to move is that I still need to accumulate experience in my volunteer work at the Asian museum. I spent six months training for this and now I should put in at least another few months' actually putting the knowledge to use working with school kids. It will definitely enrich my resume for when I start job hunting again. As to leaving my current job, I plan on taking the rest of the summer off, catch up on personal art projects, write more, and generally try to enjoy my time here in southern California.
Wanna know something? I really, really miss the violent thunderstorms under Chicago skies. I miss sipping hot chocolat spiked with rum while looking out the window at the beautiful snowfall and seeing everything whitened by it. I miss the Chicago lakefront and the long introspective walks I can take along on it. I miss the intellectualism of Chicago (which is almost impossible to find in southern California). My final destination is San Francisco (as a writer and artist) and I know I'll end up there one way or another, but I know in the deepest corner of my heart that Chicago, where I grew up, will always be my crib.
I will be laid off from my job at the end of this month, two weeks and three days from now. In an effort to sustain itself during these hard economic times the museum has decided not to renew our store's lease and to just shut it down, one less satellite outlet to worry about. Another kind of store will take our place. I've been laid off before so I'm used to this.
Another curveball thrown at me is that our rent will be increased quite a bit starting in July. There is no longer any choice but to move out. The price of rentals in the L.A. area is too high compared with many other cities in the U.S. (though New York and San Francisco still tops the list) and I haven't been able to find more affordable space for me and N around here. I told N I'd pay for the difference in increase until around September or October when we should move out.
N is old but is fierce about maintaining some level of independence. I agree with that, doing many things herself is a very good way to keep herself active and fit. Where we live now she can walk to her errands. If we were living in the Philippines she would have maids doing all the chores, but it would be at the expense of her becoming too sedentary and doing nothing to keep fit and when you're old that can be dangerous. All this factors into where we should choose to live. We both need each other, not least of which is for economic reasons.
It's very likely we'll move back to Chicago, where I grew up, in the fall, where rent for a very good apartment in one of the very best neighbourhoods in the city (right on the lakefront near the zoo) approaches half of what we're paying now here in L.A. I scouted through the job market in Chicago and found a few positions I'd be perfect for (the best one at a museum I love, doing what I have great experience in). N could still walk to her errands, take a cab to see her doctor, even just go for a stroll without worrying about being victimized, and have some of the her grandkids visit us on the weekend. For me I'd get to see my old friends again and rekindle relationships and feel a profound sense of grounding once more (I have that here in California and most of it is because of N).
The main reason I told N we should wait until fall to move is that I still need to accumulate experience in my volunteer work at the Asian museum. I spent six months training for this and now I should put in at least another few months' actually putting the knowledge to use working with school kids. It will definitely enrich my resume for when I start job hunting again. As to leaving my current job, I plan on taking the rest of the summer off, catch up on personal art projects, write more, and generally try to enjoy my time here in southern California.
Wanna know something? I really, really miss the violent thunderstorms under Chicago skies. I miss sipping hot chocolat spiked with rum while looking out the window at the beautiful snowfall and seeing everything whitened by it. I miss the Chicago lakefront and the long introspective walks I can take along on it. I miss the intellectualism of Chicago (which is almost impossible to find in southern California). My final destination is San Francisco (as a writer and artist) and I know I'll end up there one way or another, but I know in the deepest corner of my heart that Chicago, where I grew up, will always be my crib.
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