rejected (part 1)

This is strange. I need to decorticate it to the best of my ability but using what scant things I know.

This fellow, S, had responded to my profile, and we briefly corresponded by email, then by phone. It turns out he's highly intelligent, which I found refreshing - at last, someone I could have great conversations with about topics that matter, someone I could perhaps spar with, and from whom I could learn. He is what I call a 'keen', someone who is sharper than a knife, insightful, concise, and does not put up with bullshit and sees underlying issues or ideas for what they are.

These people are rare. I myself have been categorized in this tiny demographic by others, but I honestly don't know if I qualify. I know I have some intelligence and can be very analytical and abstract when needed, but it seems I work more intuitively, as if my right brain suddenly takes over. From what I've read, ancient cultures may have perceived individuals like me as a 'seer' and a counselor, one who can bring forth knowledge otherwise inaccessible to normal people.

Anyway, I had a marvelous time with S for as briefly as it lasted. On our first and what now turns out to be our only date, we visited The Getty Center, to see the Caspar David Friedrich and Gerhard Richter exhibit, which in summary explored the threads running back and forth between the two painters, one from the 19th century, the other from the late 20th century, and how both delved into ideas of transcendent experiences through nature, collective and individual memory, evocation, and consciousness.

The exhibit was small (just two rooms) but it blew me away. Though I loved Friedrich, it's Richter's works I really wanted to view. S was the perfect companion for this. We sat for a while in the show and talked deeply about it. In fact, afterwards, we headed outside to the striking courtyard of The Getty and got coffees and talked and talked and I learned more about him and he a little more about me and then the guards came and announced that the Center was closing for the day.

During the conversations, and in between the stories he told and the smiles and snickers he delivered, I noticed that S flashed the tiniest, almost indiscernable expressions of what seemed to be nervousness or apprehension or some other kind of discomfort. What was it? I knew he was reacting to me in some way. Was he actually attracted to me and he knew it and for some reason adverse to it? Was he, in his extreme intelligence, struggling with the decision over my qualifications to be acquainted with him? Was I good enough for him?

He had told me, prior to our date, that he kept very, very few friends and that he had no tolerance whatsoever for stupidity and lack of independent thinking in people. That and other things he said triggered my right brain to start working, and based on my knowledge of such things as well as my past experiences with 'keens' (I had one as a lover for about five years), I gleaned and surmised a bit about him....