rumblings

I never could understand the idea of blindly following dogma, never questioning a system obviously in serious need of overhaul for the sake of bettering the overall effects.

I work somewhere where the system is set up to make us fail, watches us to catch the tiniest mistakes, almost as if it wants to fault us. I can never win. The worst of it is that the powers that be refuse to acknowledge that the system is horrid, outdated, and seriously needs to be thrown out and rethought. They think it's too expensive to implement changes and improvements, even after all our honest input and constructive criticisms.

The place lacks in funding (clearly visible by how unkempt and technologically obsolete the building and its offerings within are) and it would take too long a blog entry to explain why, even generally. Let's just say this institution's offerings don't seem to be 'sexy' compared to other places in Los Angeles. Which is so, so sad, really, as I can see how incredible the potential is for it to shine as a cultural beacon in this town and, by extension, as representative of its ilk. As it stands it's resolutely the dumpiest institution I've ever worked in, and I am being paid far less than I am worth, even though out of all my colleagues there I am singularly the most qualified for our position.

In short, they're a badly run institution, they're too poor to implement sweeping changes to improve the things that really matter, and they're simply just embarrassingly dumpy and unpolished. If only I were in a position where they would listen to me, think more creatively and resourcefully, be more experimental. Many of the ideas I have don't cost anything extra, it has more to do with redesigning how things are run rather than spending money for shallow, cosmetic band-aid fixes.

It's time for me to look elsewhere for opportunities for myself. The pickings are slim here, unfortunately. Ideally I would love to work at this excellent cultural institution in San Francisco, and so I'm trying to groom myself towards that, and if not that particular place then at least a far better place than where I am now.

I hate having to start again.