Today is National Coming Out Day.
I just came out to my mom. It was fcuking hilarious! I mean, my whole family already knows I'm gay but they never really talk about it openly and so I thought I'd just officially come out to Mom and get it over it after decades of not. She said in her thick Filipino old woman accent: "Dooooont be gey!"
I said, "Hey it's too late, I was born like this."
She said, "Yez but doooooont be gey!"
I said, "I can't do that because I don't like girls. I don't like suso!" ("suso" is tits in Tagalog, the national dialect of the Philippines)
I asked her to find me a rich gay brain surgeon or scientist so I can get married and she said no. I said, "Oh c'mon, don't you want me to have a nice husband?"
Then I found out that two of Mom's uncles were actually gay themselves! I never knew them. They were my maternal grandmother's cousins. So THAT'S where it came from, her side of the family. No one else in my immediate family is gay (that I know of), not even any of my nieces and nephews so far.
After I came out to her I asked her if I could have a gay kitten. She laughed. I said, "You know, a gay kitten is better because you don't have to worry about it getting pregnant."
She said no, I can't have a kitten (like she told me many times before).
I said, "C'mon! We could even have two gay kittens. And that's better 'cause you know why? They can't get each other pregnant."
She said, "And how do you know the kitten is gay?"
I said, "You can tell when it walks around like this..." , and I made a walking gesture with a limp wrist.
She laughed so hard that drool came out of her mouth.
Then I said, "Two gay kittens can never get each other pregnant, because when you put them together they won't have sex. Instead they'll just point to each other and say, 'Ng pogi naman! Ay, ng guapo naman!' " (translation: "You're hot! You're good looking! You're hot! You're good looking!")
I kinda stopped there because Mom was laughing so hard I was scared she'd have an attack.
I came out to my mom and it was like an ethnic TV sitcom.
I said, "Mom, I'm gay but I still love you." And I know, with her, the feeling will always and forever be mutual, even though I still can't have a kitten.
I just came out to my mom. It was fcuking hilarious! I mean, my whole family already knows I'm gay but they never really talk about it openly and so I thought I'd just officially come out to Mom and get it over it after decades of not. She said in her thick Filipino old woman accent: "Dooooont be gey!"
I said, "Hey it's too late, I was born like this."
She said, "Yez but doooooont be gey!"
I said, "I can't do that because I don't like girls. I don't like suso!" ("suso" is tits in Tagalog, the national dialect of the Philippines)
I asked her to find me a rich gay brain surgeon or scientist so I can get married and she said no. I said, "Oh c'mon, don't you want me to have a nice husband?"
Then I found out that two of Mom's uncles were actually gay themselves! I never knew them. They were my maternal grandmother's cousins. So THAT'S where it came from, her side of the family. No one else in my immediate family is gay (that I know of), not even any of my nieces and nephews so far.
After I came out to her I asked her if I could have a gay kitten. She laughed. I said, "You know, a gay kitten is better because you don't have to worry about it getting pregnant."
She said no, I can't have a kitten (like she told me many times before).
I said, "C'mon! We could even have two gay kittens. And that's better 'cause you know why? They can't get each other pregnant."
She said, "And how do you know the kitten is gay?"
I said, "You can tell when it walks around like this..." , and I made a walking gesture with a limp wrist.
She laughed so hard that drool came out of her mouth.
Then I said, "Two gay kittens can never get each other pregnant, because when you put them together they won't have sex. Instead they'll just point to each other and say, 'Ng pogi naman! Ay, ng guapo naman!' " (translation: "You're hot! You're good looking! You're hot! You're good looking!")
I kinda stopped there because Mom was laughing so hard I was scared she'd have an attack.
I came out to my mom and it was like an ethnic TV sitcom.
I said, "Mom, I'm gay but I still love you." And I know, with her, the feeling will always and forever be mutual, even though I still can't have a kitten.
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