The house of D'uh

I had such an emotionally edgy week. This email I sent to his sister sums it up:

Hi S.,

Thanks for your wonderful email response.

However, I seem to be in a critical state regarding R., and I don't know what happened. I chatted with him online last Friday afternoon (a week ago). He was preparing some food to take to a potluck dinner party with work friends that evening. We chatted and he had asked if he could call me later that evening when he got back. I said yes, but half-jokingly said that he could call me only if he did more of the talking this time, I'd like to get to know him better, and that I had been the one doing most of the talking all the time. He typed this in response: :-( (a sad face). I replied with why is he sad, that all I wanted was to know him better through his philosophy, what he thinks of current political issues, culture, things like that. He then responded with "I have to go back to the kitchen," which I, based on my observations of his behaviour before, took as a sign of his not wanting to deal with it. I was frustrated and typed, " *sigh* Fine. Call me later if you're not too tired. Love you." He then signed off abruptly without even saying goodbye, and did not call me back later that evening.

I tried calling him the next day (Saturday), but all I got was his voicemail so I left him a message to call me or grab me online. He never did. I have had AIM on ever since (24 hours) but he seems to be offline. Yesterday I called him again but got his voicemail. I left a message asking him to please call me, I'm worried that he hasn't tried to contact me, that I hope he's okay, and that if I had said or done something wrong to upset him to please let me know so we can talk. He hasn't called back or logged on AIM.

S., I hope he's okay. I'm quite worried. I don't know of any plans he may have made to take some time off work, so I assume he's been there. I'm afraid I may have said something that inadvertantly upset him and he's cut me off completely.

If you could do me a big favour, please try contacting him and ask him to get in touch with me. I just want to know if he's okay, and if I had done anything wrong to him, and that I love him and miss him a great deal. I know this is awkward of me but I can't reach him, and maybe you can at least let him know that I'm trying. Please get to back to me as soon as possible. Thank you.

B.

It turned out R.'s son was visiting him and they left to explore Oregon on a little driving trip. That R. didn't return my calls and emails was merely a result of him not being able to as he and his son spent time together. He must have told me this, I do remember him mentioning it, but I forgot when it was to happen.

Man, was I embarrassed! And relieved, of course. I was a fucking wreck! I finally called again on Saturday and got hold of him. I was so happy, and I explained everything. He laughed, and it was wonderful. Even if he was laughing at me, I didn't care. He loves me, and he can laugh at me forever if he wants!